Relational dialectics

Relational dialectics is an interpersonal communication theory about close personal ties and relationships that highlights the tensions, struggles and interplay between contrary tendencies.[1] The theory, proposed respectively by Leslie Baxter[2] and W. K. Rawlins[3][4] in 1988, defines communication patterns between relationship partners as the result of endemic dialectical tensions.

In their description of Relational Dialectics, Leslie A. Baxter and Barbara M. Montgomery simplify the concept by posing “opposites attract”, but “birds of a feather flock together”. Also, “Two’s company; three’s a crowd” but “the more the merrier.” These contradictions experienced within common folk proverbs are similar to those we experience within our relationships as individuals.[5] When making decisions, we give voice to multiple viewpoints and desires that often contradict each other.[6]

The Relational Dialectic is an elaboration on Mikhail Bakhtin’s idea that life is an open monologue and humans experience collisions between opposing desires and needs within relational communications.[7] Baxter includes a list of Dialectical Tensions that reminds us that relationships are constantly changing, and that successful and satisfying relationships require constant attention. Although Baxter’s description of Relational Dialectics is thorough, it by no means is exact or all inclusive since we all experience different tensions in different ways.

History

Relational Dialectics is the emotional and value-based version of the philosophical Dialectic. It is rooted in the dynamism of the Yin and Yang. Like the classic Yin and Yang, the balance of emotional values in a relationship is always in motion, and any value pushed to its extreme contains the seed of its opposite.[8]

In the Western world, these ideas hark back to the Greek philosopher Heraclitus, who held that the world was in constant flux (like fire), with creative and destructive forces on both sides of every process. Mikhail Bakhtin, a Russian scholar most known for his work in dialogism, applied Marxist dialectic to literary and rhetorical theory and criticism. He illustrated the tensions that exists in the deep structure of all human experience.[9] For example, he identified that the tension that exists between unity and difference. Bakhtin conceived the human dialectic as two forces analogous to the physical forces centripetal (emotional forces tending towards unity) and centrifugal (emotional forces tending towards divergence). Like the Yin and Yang, Bakhtin's forces have no ultimate resolution.[9]

Baxter took the deep structural analysis of Bakhtin and applied it to communication theory. She found a T-Bangha of axes where this dynamic tension operated.[8] Later authors have added other axes.[10]

Core concepts and assumptions

There are four main concepts that form the backdrop of relational dialectics, as well as four major assumptions. Relational Dialectics assumes that "(1.) relationships are not linear, (2.) relational life is characterized by change, (3.) contradiction is the fundamental fact of relational life, and (4.) communication is central to organizing and negotiating relational contradictions".[11]

The four core concepts of relational dialectics include: contradiction, totality, process, and praxis.

Contradictions are the core concept of Relational Dialectics. It is the dynamic interplay between unified oppositions. A contradiction is formed "whenever two tendencies or forces are interdependent (unity) yet mutually negate one another (negation)".[12] For example, in a relationship one can simultaneously desire intimacy and distance.

Totality suggests that contradictions in a relationship are part of a unified whole and cannot be understood in isolation. In other words, the dialectics cannot be separated and are intrinsically related to each other. For example, the tension between dependence and interdependence cannot be separated from the tension between openness and privacy — both work to condition and define the other.

Process Relational dialectics must be understood in terms of social processes. Movement, activity, and change are functional properties (Rawlins,1989). For example, instances such as an individual fluctuating between disclosure and secretiveness. In addition, the individual may move between periods of honest and open communication (Miller, 2002, 2005).

Praxis is a philosophical term for the concept of 'practical behavior' or sometimes 'the experience of practicing'. In praxis the dialectic tensions are created and re-created through the active participation and interaction. In other words, the practical experience of having a relationship exposes one to the imposition of the needs and value of another. As the relationship endures one's own needs and values become apparent. Praxis focuses on the practical choices individuals make in the midst of the opposing needs and values (dialectical tensions). In turn, the choices and actions themselves create, re-create, and change the nature of the relationship and hence the dialectical tensions themselves.

Research has recommended theories which further dialectical understanding in relationships, such as in the marriage, in the workplace, etc. Relational dialectics further includes the idea of Contextual Dialectics, or rather, the idea that every relationship exists within a specific place within a specific culture. From there we also see the raise of public and private/real and ideal dialectics and the interplay between what we see on television in public life, versus what experience within our private lives. Examples of this include politicians as well as TV shows. According to West and Turner, "the tension of the real and ideal dialectic is featured when we think of television shows like Leave It to Beaver: We receive an idealized message of what family life is like, and then when we look at the families we live in, we have to contend with the troublesome realities of family life. The tension between these two images forms this dialectic".[13]

Dialectics

According to the original relational dialectic model, there were many core tensions (opposing values) in any relationship.[6] These are autonomy and connectedness, favoritism and impartiality, openness and closedness, novelty and predictability, instrumentality and affection, and finally, equality and inequality.

Autonomy and connectedness refers to the desire to have ties and connections with others versus the need to separate oneself as a unique individual. An example of autonomy and connectedness would be an athlete, who wants to feel like they are part of a team but also wanting to highlight their individual talents. Favoritism and impartiality refers to the desire to be treated fairly and impartially versus the desire to be seen and known as “special”. For instance, a professor may want to be impartial by creating an attendance policy but makes exceptions for students who participate in class and have good grades, demonstrating favoritism. Openness and closedness refers to the desire to be open and divulge information versus the desire to be exclusive and private. When chatting with a boss about one's weekend, there is the desire to be open, however, closedness is also at play, as certain details are often left out, because of the context. Novelty and predictability suggest that there is a desire for the relationship to be predictable versus the desire for it to be original and new. When creating scheduled meetings for board members, the predictability may lie in a fixed schedule, however the novelty may be in scheduling a varying number of locations to peak interests as well as inspiration. Instrumentality and affection, is the desire for affection to be genuine versus the desire for affection to be motivated by benefits and perceived advantages of the relationship. An example of this would be being in a romantic relationship based on love and affection, but maintaining it for benefits such as financial security. Finally, equality and inequality refers to the desire to be considered as equals versus the desire to develop levels of superiority. A female in the military may seek treatment equivalent to that received by her male colleagues, but requires special barracks and adjusted assignments.[6]

According to the theory, while most of us may embrace the ideals of closeness, certainty, and openness in our relationships, the communication is not a straight path towards these goals. Conflicts often produce the exact opposites.[9]

Internal dialect (within the relationship) External dialect (between couple and community)
Integration–Separation Connection–Autonomy Inclusion–Seclusion
Stability–Change Certainty–Uncertainty Conventionality–Uniqueness
Expression–Nonexpression Openness–Closedness Revelation–Concealment

The table above shows typical dialectical tensions experienced by relational partners based on research done by Baxter and Montgomery showing contrasting efforts in two different ways. The column that displays examples of Internal Dialect shows "ongoing tensions played out within a relationship".[9] The column that displays examples of External Dialect shows "ongoing tensions between a couple and their community".[9]

Integration–separation is "a class of relational dialectics that includes connection–autonomy, inclusion–seclusion, and intimacy–independence."[9] Some individual autonomy must be given up to connect to others.

Stability–change is "a class of relational dialectics that includes certainty–uncertainty, conventionally–uniqueness, predictability–surprise, and routine–novelty."[9] Things must be consistent but not mundane. There must be a balance between the expected and unexpected in order to keep a relationship.

Expression–nonexpression is "a class of relational dialectics that includes openness–closedness, revelation–concealment, candor–secrecy, and transparency–privacy".[9] In a relationship, it is important to keep some things between the two parties, while other parts of the relationship are okay to allow the public to know about.

Dialectics in relationships

Michaela Meyer's suggests, "relational dialectics theory exposes tensions within interpersonal relationships while at the same time it assumes a continual maintenance and repair of these tensions. As a result, relational dialectics theory is incredibly useful for defining how tensions are managed within relationships."[14] Extensive research has been done regarding the role dialectical tensions play in relationships. Through studies of romantic relationships, long distance relationships, and friendships, researchers have observed the existence and frequency of certain dialectical tensions within various types of relationships.

Romantic relationships

A study of 25 heterosexual married couples was designed to determine what types of dialectical tensions were most prevalent in antagonistic conflicts between spouses. Larry Erbert found that the Openness v. Closedness dialectic was most commonly referenced through examples by participants[15] Research conducted by Baxter and Montgomery confirmed this finding, and broke the dialectic down into four subcategories to further analyze its existence in romantic relationships.

Openness with: Refers to an individual’s self-disclosure of information to another. In this idea, three types of information are shared: information deemed to be personal, the individuals feelings or personal opinions, and information regarding one individual's relationship with the other.
Openness To: Often this form of Openness is labeled as being attentive or responsive. People respond in cognitive, affective, and behavioral ways.
Closedness with: Describes the type of nondisclosive talk that occurs between individuals. It is most often identified as “small talk”, being primarily superficial. The talk is oriented around conversation that requires little or no self-disclosure, allowing for a controlled level informational privacy.
Closedness to: Some people experience stress and discomfort when listening to others’ problems. In response to this, some individuals attempt to distance themselves in order to discourage others from confiding in them.[8]

'Autonomy–connection'

This refers to the independence one needs or wants from the romantic other, on the contrary also, how dependent the romantic partners are to one another. For example; a couple has been together for an extended period of time and one partner feels the need to distance themselves for a while, the other partner experiences need or dependency, therefore creating tension. There needs to be a clear decision on the amount of connection within a romantic relationship for it to work. Time and activity segmentation are both connected to autonomy–connection by different uses of balanced tension. Exclusive selection and reframing are also important to a healthy romantic relationship. All the following aspects are critical to ensure the needed attention to both individuals. Research has also been conducted to examine the autonomy-connection dialectic when dealing with termination of romantic relationships. In Erin Sahlestein and Tim Dun's study they found that, "participants’ joint conversations and their breakup accounts reflect the two basic forms of contradiction. Both antagonistic and non-antagonistic struggles were evident in these data".[16] Furthermore, the study discovered that while normally break-ups are retroactively studied, the autonomy-connection dialectic is actually in full swing throughout the termination process as opposed to previous thought of as a move from connection to autonomy.

'Comfort'

This occurs when autonomy and connection are in balance and both individuals operate with an understanding of the boundaries of the other. Both are comfortable with the space the other is giving or taking and not only agree with each other but are happy and find the status of the relationship enjoyable. This also allows for change within the relationship, giving up something to benefit the other spouse or partner.

'Time segmentation'

This is the balance of time during everyday life in accordance with your romantic partner. How much time is spent together and how much alone. It also deals with setting aside time for each other to keep the balance of the relationship positive. Time segmentation can vary depending on schedules of the partners. This is based on the time that is spent away from one another or together, not the activities performed.

'Activity segmentation'

This is when activities are used to separate the partners to fulfill their independent needs or allow them to do what they want for a short period of time. An example would be a guys/girls night out. It can also be activities that are performed together when time allows. These activities are meant to keep the tension in a positive state. This could possibly mean an activity that one spouse enjoys but the other does not. The next activity will be one of the opposite’s preference, turning around the role of who is comfortable, causing positive relational tension.

'Exclusive selection'

This refers to the selection of either being connected with a spouse and acting as one or being dependent and acting on one’s own terms. When this concept is misunderstood, relational tension becomes unbalanced and the relationship tends to fall apart on a personal level, whether visible or not. Couples are more stable where both agree on the degree of closeness in the relationship and are less stable when they cannot agree.

'Reframing'

This is the idea that parts of the relationship need to be evaluated and looked at in a different way. When parts of a relationship are reframed, it can make the relationship stronger,causing issues to be looked at in a new light. It can go the other way too, positive aspects of a relationship might not be as beneficial as perceived. This concept allows for flaws to be addressed.

Long distance relationships

Based on research by Sahlstein, the uncertainty v. certainty dialectic is the most prevailing dialectic found in long-distance relationships. Her work exposed uncertainty v. certainty as a competing yet complementary need. In interviews conducted with couples engaged in long distance relationships, contradictions emerged. For example, couples were found to plan interactions in order to obtain a level of spontaneity. Within this, three different forms of the praxis of Relational Dialectics emerged: segmentation, balance, and denial. Segmentation refers to the partners’ ability to live separate, independent lives when they were not together. Balance involved the couple’s ability to plan conversations about the future of their relationship. Denial is the couple’s refusal to admit the role distance is having on the relationship.[10]

Re-marriage

In a study[17] that focused on dialectics in second marriages, six tensions unique to remarriages emerged. Three tensions related to the remarried dyad: old-new, emotional closeness-distance, and past-present. Three tensions also emerged from the remarried dyad and their social networks: their time frame-our time frame, dyadic revelation-network revelation, and old-new.

Old-New

Many participants found that within their new marriage, the brought with them ideas and expectations based on their previous, or "old," marriages. However, participants recognized that they had since entered a "new" marriage, which would not necessarily carry over the previous old expectations or experiences.

Emotional closeness-distance

Participants expressed feelings of both emotional closeness and emotional distance with their new partners. While participants found that they experienced emotional closeness with their second spouse, they also found that either they or their new spouse had other close friends or family with whom they were close to.

Past-Present

Many participants found that they do not discuss prior relationships, or other things that relate to the past, with their new partners. Yet, the new couples remained open about issues and topics related to their present life.

Their time frame-our time frame

Many participants expressed feeling tensions between adhering to a time frame that felt right to the individual, while acknowledging the expectations that they sensed from their friends and family members in regards to what an appropriate relationship and re-marriage time frame would be.

Dyadic Revelation-Network Revelation

Participants found that they desired to share information with their social network, however, sometimes their partner did not desire them to share such information with that particular network, resulting in tensions among participants to decide between revealing to their partner and revealing information to their social network.

Old-New

Participants identified the tension that was created through interactions with friends and family from the "old" marriage while being in the "new" marriage. Participants managed this tension primarily through recalibration and reaffirmation, where participants recognized that both sides had to be present in order for the relationship to exist.

Friendships

William Rawlins has examined the role of Relational Dialectics in regard to friendships. The tension of instrumentality v. affection was found to be the most central to this type of relationship. Within friendships, importance is placed on the ability to discern the level of affection for “real” friendships opposed to instrumentality for “fake” friendships. Aristotle’s “friendship of virtue” notion of caring for friends without instrumental purposes exemplifies this point. The dichotomy of instrumentality v. affection cannot be ignored within friendships, as affection may be offered in order to receive instrumental aid from friends. This interweaving of concepts is what distinguishes different types of friendships. While this remains true, the subjectivity of the friends in question ultimately determines the outcome of how heavily instrumentality v. affection is applied.[4]

In the workplace

Blended Relationships are close friends that are a part of the same work environment. Dialectical tensions occur in organizations as individuals attempt to balance their roles as employees while maintaining established friendships within their occupations. It is not necessary, however, to have a friend in organizations to experience Dialectical contradictions. Stress occurs frequently on the individual level as human needs and desires oppose. Impartiality vs. Favoritism: Friends within organizations desire to provide each other with special support and assistance but organizations strive for equitable treatment and discourage bias. Openness vs. Closedness: It is a tendency of close friends to be open and honest with one another, but organizations often expect a level of confidentiality that places strain on friendships that value the sharing of information.[18] Novelty and Predictability: Feeling excited about a restructuring of your organization but anxious since it may interrupt your routine and put stress on your current relationships. Instrumentality and Affection: Inviting a coworker to lunch with the intention of asking for support on a project at work.[6]

Family relationships

Sibling relationships

Relational Dialectics can be applied when considering the significant change in family life that siblings experience when one sibling moves out of the family home for the first time as part of the transition into adulthood.[19] As one sibling begins a new phase of life, this change is often accompanied by new friendships or romantic relationships that occur in his/her new lifestyle, along with a new geographic separation, both of which result in a change in communication. As the newly absent sibling begins a new lifestyle beyond his/her home, the pre-existing sibling relationship goes through various changes and transitions.[20] In a study[20] conducted on discursive struggles among siblings experiencing transition, all participants acknowledged that moving away from their sibling(s) resulted in a discursive struggle between the old and new meanings in the sibling relationship. Two specific discursive struggles were identified: old relationship-new relationship and certainty-uncertainty. For many siblings, family rituals were not continued upon moving out, resulting in a change in relationship and a feeling of missing out, emphasizing the changes that occur during the transition from an old relationship into new ones. Participants also found that the change from seeing a sibling regularly to not seeing him/her often resulted in feelings of uncertainty, resulting in an identity shift[21] in the relationship and supporting the discursive struggle of certainty-uncertainty. While participants addressed the varying tensions involved with lifestyle transitions, 8 of the 19 participants in the study expressed that moving away from their sibling strengthened their connection and appreciation for their brother(s) and/or sister(s).

Children & stepparents

In a study[22] focusing on the adult stepchild perceptions of communication in the stepchild-stepparent relationship, three contradictions were found to be experienced by the stepchildren participants: dialectics of emotional distance-closeness, stepparent status, and expression. While many stepchildren expressed feelings of emotional distance, the participants had varying reasons for keeping the distance. Some participants who still had a positive relationship with their nonresidential parent kept an emotional distance from their stepparent as an act of loyalty that they felt toward their nonresidential parent. Other participants equated emotional distance to the fact that they had little in common with their stepparent. However, many participants expressed feeling some closeness with a stepparent while maintaining an amount of emotional distance. Participants reported that they upheld a relationship with the stepparent that contained honesty, respect, and trust, yet they kept an emotional distance by continuing to address the stepparent by his/her first name, or simply claiming that each individual was very different from the other, causing tension in an effort to promote emotional closeness. Many of the stepchildren in the study also experienced a dialectical tension between desiring for the family authority position to be designated to their one residential parent along with a desire for both the residential parent and the stepparent to share parenting authority. Many participants felt that legitimating their stepparent as a parent would result in the formation of closeness. Lastly, the participants expressed a desire for open communication with their stepparent, while at the same time, expressing resistance to openness and instead favoring a more careful form of communication due to the fact that the participants often sensed a lack of familiarity with their stepparent.

In another study,[23] researchers aimed to identify the contradictions that were perceived by stepchildren when characterizing the ways that familial interactions caused them to feel caught in the middle between parents. The participants expressed that they wanted to be centered in the family while, at the same time, they hoped to avoid being caught in the middle of two opposing parents. The main contradiction identified in the study was similar to the autonomy-connection dialectic; stepchildren desired the freedom to communicate and enact the desired relationship with their parents. However, these stepchildren also felt the need to manage the constraints that resulted from parental communication, particularly when both parents did not cooperate with one another. While the stepchildren wanted to know what was happening, at the same time, they also wanted to be protected, resulting in a second dialectic of control-restraint. Participants indicated that in order to put the child's needs first, both parents would need to be mature and open in their communication with one another. Through this study, the researchers believe that openness-closeness dialectic between parents and their children is important to building functional stepfamily relationships.

One study,[24] focused on the relationship and communication between college-aged stepchildren and their nonresidential parents, found two underlying contradictions: parenting and not parenting, and openness and closeness. Many participants expressed that they wanted their nonresidential parent to be actively involved in parenting them. However, they also expressed that when the nonresidential parent attempted to parent the child, the children did not desire it. Participants also expressed that while they wanted open and intimate communication with their nonresidential parents, they felt that they could not closely communicate because of the nonresidential parent's lack of familiarity with the child's everyday life.

Theory Applications

End of Life Care

Relational Dialectics Theory can be applied to the context of health care, specifically end-of-life care, providing a system for caregiver communication that contains tensions and challenges. The quality of the end-of-life journey is influenced by how these tensions are managed.[25] Relational Dialectics Theory is an applicable framework for investigating the ongoing communication between physicians and their patients/family members during the process of end-of-life care[26]

When making choices about end-of-life medical care, family members, friends, or surrogate decision makers often experience feelings of tension and burden.[27] Decision-makers must deal with the relational and moral tensions that come with such decision-making.[28] Family members in charge of making end-of-life decisions often face conflicting emotions between holding on and letting go; recognizing the need to let a patient go while wanting to continue fighting to keep a loved one alive.[29]

In a study[25] that focused on the communication tensions perceived among the Maori culture during the end-of-life journey, it was found that despite the culture’s focus on collectivism and its emphasis on harmony, four communication tensions existed between caregivers (family and friends) and patients: autonomy and connection, conflict and connection, isolation and connection, and balancing the needs of self and other.

Grief

The human grieving process is marked by relational dialectics. After the death of a child, bereaved parents often experience tension between presence and absence by grieving their child’s permanent absence while still experiencing an emotional bond toward the deceased child.[28] Bereaved parents may also experience tension between openness and closeness, where they desire to discuss their feelings with friends or family, yet they are hesitant to share because of the potentially negative reactions they could receive.[28]

One study,[29] aimed at focusing on how families make sense of contradictory discourses, found two discursive contradictions: family members' wishes vs. patient's wishes, and emotionality vs. rationality. Through interviews with participants who had experienced the loss of a loved one, researchers concluded that many of the end of life decisions made by family members, patients, and doctors were centered on making sense of the simultaneous desires to hold on and to let go. Participants recognized that they experienced tension between their own preferences and the preferences of a loved one, and with that, experienced the tension between desiring to make decisions based on emotions versus making decisions based on rationality.

Dialectical contradictions have also been found among parents who have lost a child. One study[30] found that two primary dialectical contradictions occurred for parents who had experienced the death of a child: openness-closeness, and presence-absence. Parents experienced openness-closeness when they desired to talk about their child and their loss, yet they perceived the outcome as risky, especially if they sensed that friends and family wished for the parents to move on. Participants explained that they were able to manage this contradiction by being selective with their disclosure and taking control over the communicative situation. When dealing with the presence-absence dialectic, bereaved parents experienced tensions between the ongoing bond that they experienced with their child, and the physical absence of the child. Participants expressed that when people were not willing to remember their dead child, the physical absence of the child was deeply felt. However, when people chose to remember the deceased child, the parent experienced feelings of comfort and continual bonding with the child.

Dialogue

Dialogue is typically a conversation between two or more people. These conversations are what constitute relationships, as communication is the very foundation of any relationship. According to Cools, "the four important concepts that form the foundation of dialogism 1) the self and the other situated in contradictory forces, 2) unfinalizability, 3) the chronotope and the carnivalesque, and 4) heteroglossia and utterance".[31] Similarity, in dialogue the following components are the most important: constitutive dialogue, utterance chains, dialectical flux, aesthetic moment, and critical sensibility.

'Constitutive dialogue'

While some theorists, along with Baxter, may argue that communication is simply a feature in a relationship, examining constitutive dialogue suggests that communication is actually what creates and maintains a relationship instead. According to Baxter, "a constitutive approach to communication asks how communication defines, or constructs, the social world, including our selves and our personal relationships. From a constitutive perspective, then, persons and relationships are not analytically separable from communication; instead, communication constitutes these phenomena"[32] When initial researchers studied relationships, they found that similarities, backgrounds, and interests are usually what hold people together while self-disclosure is the root of these components. Dialogic researchers would argue that differences are just as important as similarities and they are both discovered through dialogue.[9]

'Utterance chains'

To understand utterance chains, we must know that an utterance is what a person says in one turn of a conversation. When utterances are "linked to competing discourses", they are considered utterance chains. Baxter believes that there are "four links on the chain where the struggle of competing discourses can be heard."[9] These are: cultural ideologies, relational history, non-yet spoken response of partner or utterance, and normative evaluation of third party to utterance. Baxter also suggest that to understand an utterance, we must also understand the discourse. She posits "in the broadest sense, a discourse is a cultural system of meaning that circulates among a group’s members and which makes our talk sensical. for example in the United States the discourse of individualism helps us to understand and value an utterance such as, 'I need to find myself first before I commit to a serious relationship with another person'".[33]

'Dialectical flux'

A dialectical flux is "the unpredictable, unfinalizable, indeterminate nature of personal relationships".[9] Relationships are complicated and intertwined with dialectical tensions. Spiraling inversion and segmentation are two strategies that Baxter and Montgomery have established to respond to this complexity. Spiraling inversion is generally a no-win situation; a struggle between two different thought processes. For example, if you were to do something your parents did not approve of, you could lie about it, but your parents might yell at you for lying. And on the other hand, you could tell them upfront, and they could be completely quiet in shock. Segmentation is pertaining to more than one role in a relationship that must be altered depending on the situation. For example, if you were working at your father's shop as a part-time job, he would be considered your father AND your boss. This could mean that he has different expectations of you in different circumstances and his attitude towards you might change between roles.

'Aesthetic moment'

Aesthetic moments are brief incidents in a relationship that bring participants together through the use of dialogue. There is a temporary feeling of wholeness felt between partners involved in this dialogue. It is easy to see examples of aesthetic moments in romantic relationships, such as a first kiss or a reciting of wedding vows, but these moments can be experienced by anyone.

'Critical sensibility'

According to Griffin, critical sensibility is "an obligation to critique dominant voices, especially those that suppress opposing viewpoints; a responsibility to advocate for those who are muted."[9] This means that both sides of a dialogue are equal to one another. No one person is more powerful or dominant than the other, and they are able to communicate without these imbalances interfering. This does not mean that the dialogue is free of competing discourses as listed in Utterance Chains

Ethics in relational dialectics

When communicating, we must understand that morals do not apply for all people. Sometimes lying can be entirely minor in communication, but there are oftentimes that lying can majorly affect the perspective of those being lied to. There are several times where most people would justify a "white lie", or a lie that causes no harm. For instance, if your mother was in the hospital, you could tell her she still looked beautiful, even if her appearance was far from it because it would make her feel better. Other actions that are only followed through based on whether they have a positive or negative outcome are called "consequential ethics".[9] According to Sissela Bok, "lies drag around an initial negative weight that must be factored into ethical equations". Bok believes in the "principle of veracity" which says that truthful statements are preferable to lies in the absence of special circumstances that overcome the negative weight.[9]

Critiques

According to theorist Leslie Baxter, there are three major limitations in the work of Relational Dialectics Theory.[34] Baxter claims that her work has been "too distanced from naturally occurring talk between relating parties," and claims that the theory needs a firmer empirical base when applied to talk between relating parties. Baxter also believes that more future work needs to include multiple voices instead of focusing on the more popular research on the dialectics between "two voices." Lastly, Baxter has stated that future research should focus on discourse through time, such as studying dialogue and how it transforms over a longer period of time.

See also

References

  1. ↑ Griffin, Emory. "Chapter 12: Relational Dialectics." First Look at Communication Theory. [S.l.]: Mcgraw Hill Higher Educat, 2011. 153–67.
  2. ↑ Baxter, L. A. (1988). A dialectical perspective of communication strategies in relationship development. In S. Duck. (Ed.) Handbook of personal relationships (pp. 257–273). New York: Wiley.
  3. ↑ Rawlins, William K. (1988). "A Dialectical Analysis of the Tensions, Functions and Strategic Challenges of Communication in Young Adult Friendships,"Communication Yearbook 12, ed. James A. Anderson (Newbury, CA: Sage), 157–189.
  4. 1 2 Rawlins, William K. (1992). Friendship Matters: Communication, Dialectics, and the Life Course. Hawthorne, NY: Aldine de Gruyter.
  5. ↑ Baxter, L. A., & Montgomery, B. M. (1996). Relating: Dialogues and dialectics. New York:Guilford.
  6. 1 2 3 4 Cheney, G., Christensen, L. T., Zorn, T. E. and Ganesh, S. (2011) Organizational Communication in an Age of Globalization. (Long Grove, IL: Waveland Press), pp 147–151.
  7. ↑ Baxter, L. A. (2204). A tale of two voices: relational dialectics theory. The Journal of Family Communication, 4(3&4), 182–192.
  8. 1 2 3 Baxter, L. A. & Montgomery, B. M. (1996) Relating: Dialogues and dialectics Guilford Press, New York, ISBN 1-57230-099-X ;
  9. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 Griffin, Emory A. (2003) A First Look at Communication Theory McGraw Hill, Boston, ISBN 0-07-248392-X.
  10. 1 2 Sahlstein, Erin M. (April 2006) "Making plans: Praxis strategies for negotiating uncertainty-certainty in long-distance relationships" Western Journal of Communication 70.(2): pp. 147–165
  11. ↑ West, Richard, and Lynn Turner (2010) Introducing Communication Theory Analysis and Application. 4th ed. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Higher Education ISBN 0073385077 ;
  12. ↑ Miller, Katherine (2002) Communication theories: perspectives, processes, and contexts McGraw Hill, Boston, ISBN 0-7674-0500-5 ;
  13. ↑ West, Richard, and Lynn Turner (2010) Introducing Communication Theory Analysis and Application. 4th ed. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Higher Education ISBN 0073385077
  14. ↑ Meyer, M. E. (2003). "It's me. I'm it.": Defining Adolescent Sexual Identity through Relational Dialectics in Dawson's Creek. Communication Quarterly, 51(3), 262-276.
  15. ↑ Erbert, L. A. (2000). Conflict and dialectics: Perceptions of dialectic contradictions in marital conflict. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 17 (4–5), 638–659.
  16. ↑ Sahlstein, E., & Dun, T. (2008). “I Wanted Time to Myself and He Wanted to be Together All the Time”: Constructing Breakups as Managing Autonomy-Connection. Qualitative Research Reports In Communication, 9(1), 37-45. doi:10.1080/17459430802400340
  17. ↑ Wilder, S. E. (2012). A Dialectical Examination of Remarriage Dyadic Communication and Communication with Social Networks. Qualitative Research Reports In Communication, 13(1), 63-70. doi:10.1080/17459435.2012.722163
  18. ↑ Baxter, L. A., & Bridge, K. (Summer 1992). Blended relationships: friends as work associates.Western Journal of Communication, 56, 200–225.
  19. ↑ Conger, K.J.; Little, W.M. (2010). "Sibling relationships during the transition to adulthood". Child Development Perspectives. 4 (2): 87–94. doi:10.1111/j.1750-8606.2010.00123.x.
  20. 1 2 Halliwell, D. (2016). “I Know You, But I Don’t Know Who You Are”: Siblings’ Discursive Struggles Surrounding Experiences of Transition. Western Journal Of Communication, 80(3), 327-347. doi:10.1080/10570314.2015.1091493
  21. ↑ Baxter, Leslie A. (2011). Voicing relationships: A dialogic perspective. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
  22. ↑ Baxter, L. A., Braithwaite, D. O., & Bryant, L. (2004). Stepchildren's perceptions of the contradictions in communication with stepparents. Journal Of Social & Personal Relationships, 21(4), 447-467.
  23. ↑ Braithwaite, D. O., Toller, P. W., Daas, K. L., Durham, W. T., & Jones, A. C. (2008). Centered but not Caught in the Middle: Stepchildren's Perceptions of Dialectical Contradictions in the Communication of Co-Parents. Journal Of Applied Communication Research, 36(1), 33-55. doi:10.1080/00909880701799337
  24. ↑ Braithwaite, D., & Baxter, L. (2006). “You're My Parent but You're Not”: Dialectical Tensions in Stepchildren's Perceptions About Communicating with the Nonresidential Parent. Journal Of Applied Communication Research, 34(1), 30-48. doi:10.1080/00909880500420200
  25. 1 2 Oetzel, John; Simpson, Mary (April 2015). "Managing Communication Tensions and Challenges During the End-of-Life Journey: Perspectives of Māori Kaumātua and Their Whānau.". Health Communication. 30 (4): 350–360.
  26. ↑ Amati R, Hannawa A. Relational Dialectics Theory: Disentangling Physician-Perceived Tensions of End-of-Life Communication. Health Communication [serial online]. December 15, 2014;29(10):962-973. Available from: Communication & Mass Media Complete, Ipswich, MA. Accessed November 21, 2016.
  27. ↑ Braun, U.K.; Beyth, R.J. (2008). "Voices of African American, Caucasian, and Hispanic surrogates on the burdens of end-of-life decision making". Journal of General Internal Medicine. 23.
  28. 1 2 3 Toller, Paige (2009). "Grieving Together and Apart: Bereaved Parents' Contradictions of Marital Interaction". Journal of Applied Communication Research. 37 (3).
  29. 1 2 Ohs, J. E., Trees, A. R., & Gibson, C. (2015). Holding On and Letting Go: Making Sense of End-of-Life Care Decisions in Families. Southern Communication Journal, 80(5), 353-364. doi:10.1080/1041794X.2015.1081979
  30. ↑ Toller, P. W. (2005). Negotiation of Dialectical Contradictions by Parents who have Experienced the Death of a Child. Journal Of Applied Communication Research, 33(1), 46-66. doi:10.1080/0090988042000318512
  31. ↑ Cools, C. (2011). Relational dialectics in intercultural couples’ relationships. Kult tuurienvälisten parisuhteiden relationaalinen dialektiikka
  32. ↑ Baxter, L. A. (2004), Relationships as dialogues. Personal Relationships, 11: 1–22. doi: 10.1111/j.1475-6811.2004.00068.x
  33. ↑ Baxter, L. A., & Braithwaite, D. O. (2008). Relational dialectics theory. Engaging theories in interpersonal communication, 349-362.
  34. ↑ Baxter, L. A. (2004). A Tale of Two Voices: Relational Dialectics Theory. Journal Of Family Communication, 4(3/4), 181-192. doi:10.1207/s15327698jfc0403&4_5

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by wartime deployment: wives’ perspectives revealed through relational dialectics. Communication Monographs, 76 (4), 421–442.

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