Not While I'm Around

"Not While I'm Around" is the 59th episode of the ABC television series, Desperate Housewives. It was also the twelfth episode of the show's third season. The episode was written by Kevin Murphy and Kevin Etten and directed by David Grossman. It aired on January 14, 2007. Due to time constraints, the opening credits were cut.

Plot

Tom tells Lynette that he doesn't want her seeing his pizzeria until the grand opening, as he knows that she will have something to complain about. Lynette is deeply offended, and they have an argument which results in Tom banning Lynette from the grand opening. Lynette sneaks into his pizzeria while he isn't there, and is very impressed. Andrew, who has been hired as a waiter, tells Lynette that they aren't getting a liquor license because some of the neighbors will not sign off on it. After getting every other neighbor's signature (off-screen), Lynette tries Harry Gaunt, who won't sign off on it. Lynette tries to convince him to change his mind, but he is insistent. When Lynette learns that Harry likes breasts, she tells him that if he signs off on the liquor license, she'll show him her breasts. He signs, and Lynette shows him her breasts. When Tom learns that Lynette got the license, he is upset because he, wanting to be a "man", wanted to get the license himself. Lynette tells him that she won't do everything for him anymore, but she will help him with his challenges.

After coming home from a date with several men, Gabrielle is shocked to find a woman she doesn't know standing in her living room—only it's not a woman, it's a mannequin. And on the mannequin is a purple dress—another gift from her secret admirer. Gabrielle fears that the gift sender may be a stalker, not a secret admirer. Gabrielle is afraid and has Carlos spend the night with her. In the middle of the night, Carlos and Gabrielle catch the man who has been sending her gifts. It's a man named Nicky, but he's not her secret admirer—he is the middle man delivering gifts by demands of his boss, who is the secret admirer. Nicky calls the secret admirer, and the secret admirer asks to speak with Gabrielle. Gabrielle grabs the phone, and the secret admirer asks to go out to lunch. Gabrielle says yes, despite Carlos's objections. Gabrielle waits for him at lunch, and runs into Zach. Gabrielle is shocked to learn that Zach is the secret admirer. Gabrielle is freaked out. Zach tries to reaussure Gabrielle by telling him he is two months older than John Rowland, Gabrielle's teenage gardener and ex-lover. Gabrielle kissed Zach on the forehead and Zach takes advantage of this. He kisses Gabrielle and tells her that he is not giving up. A shocked Gabrielle storms out of the restaurant.

Mike is attacked in prison. Paul rescues him and later pays the attacker, who he has hired to attack Mike. Mike thanks Paul, as he doesn't remember him at all. One of the officers tells Mike to watch his back, as he saw Paul pay the attacker.

Susan overhears a conversation between Austin and Julie—Julie, fearing she may get pregnant, wants to start taking birth control pills and Austin wants to start using condoms. Susan confronts Julie, who assures Susan that she and Austin are not having sex. Edie tells Austin and Julie that Austin should use condoms, but Julie objects, as she has learned in health class that condoms only work 85% of the time (this is factually inaccurate - see Condoms). Edie agrees, and tells Julie that she should go on the pill. Susan enlists Gabrielle's help to search Julie's bedroom for any evidence that she's sleeping with Austin. Susan is shocked when she finds birth control pills hidden in the VCR in Julie's bedroom. Susan calls the doctor who prescribed the pill and confronts him. The doctor insists that she was there with Julie. Susan asks what she looked like, and the doctor said that she had blonde hair – the doctor, of course, was thinking of Edie. Susan confronts Edie, who insists to Susan that sex is okay as long as you use protection. Susan and Edie take their argument into Edie's living room, and find Austin and Danielle having sex on the couch. Susan confronts Julie about the pills, but in a gentle matter and also tells her about Austin and Danielle, and Julie is devastated.

Alma moves into the Applewhites' old house, and Orson and Bree are less than thrilled. Orson goes over there to confront her, and Alma warns him that if he ruins her life on Wisteria Lane, she will tell everyone what he "did" to Monique. Alma is still devastated that Orson doesn't love her. She gives him a kiss on the cheek, which Bree sees. She confronts Orson about it, and he assures her that there's nothing going on between him and Alma, but Alma tells her otherwise. Alma has gotten a new parrot, and she names it Baby, just like her first parrot. Just like the first Baby, it repeats everything Alma says. When Baby says "Don't tell Bree" Bree is so shocked she drops a glass of lemonade. Whilst reaching into the pantry for a dustpan to clean the broken glass, Bree unintentionally uncovers a loose floorboard, under which is a picture of Orson and Monique, along with a bag containing Monique's teeth.

Cast

Although credited, Preston Scavo (Brent Kinsman), Porter Scavo (Shane Kinsman), and Parker Scavo (Zane Huett) do not appear in this episode. Mary Alice (Brenda Strong) was due to make an appearance in the form of a flashback in this episode, but due to time constraints, her scenes with Gabrielle (Eva Longoria) were cut.

Series continuity

This is the first time in season three that Cody Kasch makes an appearance as Zach.

Title reference

• The episode title, Not While I'm Around is a song taken from the Stephen Sondheim musical, Sweeney Todd.

International titles

• French: Un sentiment de sécurité (A feeling of security)
• French (Canada): Se sentir en sécurité (To Feel Safe)
• German: Geheime Liebschaften (Secret Affairs)
• Hebrew: על גופתי המתה (Al Gufati HaMeta; Over My Dead Body)
• Hungarian: Csak a testemen keresztül (Over My Dead Body)
• Italian: Non finché ci sono io (Not As Long As I Am Here)
• Spanish: No Mientas,Yo Sigo Aquí (Don't Lie I'm Still Here)

Awards Notes

• Richard Herd submitted this episode for consideration in the category of "Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series" on his behalf for the 2007 Emmy Awards.^[1]

References