List of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide episodes

Moze wants to take a different elective than the guys to make new girl friends, but Ned refuses to let it happen; Cookie wears a heavy winter coat on the first day to impress girls.

Ned tries to find the girl who kissed his name on the "hottie list" in the girls' bathroom; Moze becomes afraid of the bathroom when The Huge Crew takes over; Cookie has to go to the bathroom all day, and in panic, accidentally runs into the girl's bathroom, a blunder Ned experienced in kindergarten.

Cookie, Ned and Moze all get detention, after throwing a paper airplane by accident, and they are at risk from older students.

Ned tries to sit at the cool table at lunch; Moze sits at the front of the class and does well; Cookie devises a plan to get the biggest bounce on the back seat of the bus.

Ned tries to ask Suzie to the dance; Moze avoids Coconut Head, who she thinks wants to ask her to the dance; Cookie creates a perfect match program, but he can't get it to match him with the girl he wants.

Ned must avoid getting sick during flu season when a special guest (and his hero) visits the school; Moze tries to get sick to get out of speaking in front of the class; Cookie is sick but wants avoid getting caught by the nurse in order to keep his perfect attendance record.

A rumor spreads that Ned and Moze are dating; Cookie and Gordy attempt to pull off the rumored "Atomic Flush" by flushing every toilet in the school.

The school talent show is coming, but it is always the same boring acts. So Ned, Moze and Cookie organize an alternative talent show called "Talentpalooza" where the students perform the talents they want.

Ned and Moze attempt to finish their class projects, but their roughhousing gets them banned from the computer lab; Cookie's computer system breaks down and, with the help of Lisa Zemo, he learns to live life without computers.

Ned gets caught passing notes in class for Bitsy and is determined to get her back for it; Moze finds a love note written to her, which she suspects was written by Loomer; Cookie gets excuse notes from The Forger, which allows him to get away with anything.

Ned daydreams that he, Moze and Cookie are secret agents trying to save the class from Sweeney, who is holding the class in with a science riddle. (Note: Special appearance from Cosmo and Wanda from The Fairly OddParents.)

Ned must cram for the biggest test of the year and refuses the temptation to cheat; Moze tries to stop Bitsy from cheating off of her; Cookie is forced to take a test without technology when Sweeney believes him to be cheating.

Emergency drills interfere with Ned's attempts to ask Suzie out; Moze is worried about a pimple on her face; Cookie digs a series of tunnels to get out faster.

Ned wants a kiss with Suzie this semester, but Suzie is going out with Loomer; Cookie attempts to be cooler by becoming a completely new person.

Ned tries to get people excited for the pep rally, but the whole school lacks pep; Moze must give a speech at the pep rally; Cookie prepares to do a stunt for the whole school.

Ned is determined to shut down "Missy's Declassified School Survival Manual" Club for feeding its members the wrong information to survive school; Moze and Suzie compete to be the best in every club; Cookie starts an archaeology club which involves tunneling through the school.

Ned steals Sweeney's "golden notebook" to help him study for a test; Moze finds a notebook full of rumors, and others come to believe that Suzie Crabgrass was the one who wrote it; Cookie starts recording video instead of taking notes.

A series of school property destruction incidents leads to the introduction of Vice Principal Crubbs, who suspects Ned, Moze and Cookie. So, the three take the investigation into their own hands, CSI-style.

Ned sets out to increase his strength, and Coach Dirga helps him prepare for a lifting contest against Loomer; Moze worries that she is too tall; Cookie invents ways to protect himself from Loomer, but they all backfire.

Ned is torn between Suzie, who is against dissection, and Moze, who wants to do dissection, during a biology dissection project; Ned helps Suzie by stealing the frog from Sweeney's classroom, and Cookie and Gordy grow attached to it.

Classmates dare Ned to ask out Missy; Moze must wear a dress as part of a dare and meets 3 girls she suspects are robots; Cookie competes with Loomer to be the "King of Dares".

Ned helps his favorite substitute teacher from elementary school connect with the students; Moze tricks her substitutes into doing things that were not intended by her regular teacher, Mr. Sweeney; Cookie becomes a substitute teacher.

Ned sends the Huge Crew a love letter meant for Suzie; Moze gets the most roses and is dubbed "The Hottest Girl in School"; Cookie sends himself roses to make sure he gets the most.

Ned and Moze try to befriend the shy Oboe twins; Ned tells Stacy to face her fears and talk to Missy; Moze finds out that Tracy is dependent on whoever she is with, and will dress like that person; Cookie runs a shyness seminar where the attendants do all the stunts Cookie has done in the past on the show in order to overcome their shyness.

Ned tries to find out if Suzie will go on a date with him; Moze attempts to ask Seth out; Cookie helps Dr. Xavier ask Gordy out.

Crubbs pranks everyone on April Fools Day, so Ned, Cookie and Gordy devise a plan to prank him back; Moze attempts to break up with Seth, but he thinks it is an April Fools joke.

Ned and Cookie catch Loomer kissing Missy, and Loomer threatens to beat them up if they tell anyone, especially Suzie; Moze partners up with Seth and finds out that he has other students do his work for him.

Ned battles with Martin for the position of Spirit Week King because Suzie is shoo-in for Spirit Week Queen, and the King and Queen traditionally end up dating; Cookie gets the Spirit Stick but tries to hand it off to Moze because he doesn't want the responsibility of preventing the school being cursed.

Ned wants to be next to Suzie in the "Best" of section in the yearbook; Moze wants to improve the yearbook, but nothing is for free; Cookie puts himself in many group yearbook photos, even those he is not a part of.

Ned wants to be a rock star instead of being in Mr. Gibson's (Art Alexakis) music class; Moze is taking music appreciation class with Mr. Combover and gets Mozart stuck in her head; Cookie must play an instrument that is not a computer.

The class clown moves out of town, causing the teachers to give more quizzes and homework which forces the students to search for a new class clown – Ned and Cookie try to be the class clown and even hold auditions to be class clown, but it doesn't work out; Moze finds a student who is a good prospect to be the new class clown, but he refuses to act funny for anyone else.

Ned must do well on all of his final exams, but is currently predicted to fail; Moze overreacts to one F, dropping activities for more study time; Cookie deliberately tries to fail in order to not skip 8th grade.

Ned enlists Moze's help to win a ribbon in the science fair; Cookie attempts to impress Vanessa and her grandmother.

Ned and Suzie go on a double date with Moze and Jock Goldman, but Ned kisses Moze by accident; Cookie agrees to take both Vanessa and Lisa Zemo to the dance.

Ned is mistaken for the new school bully after he accidentally punches Loomer; Moze attempts to make friends with a new teacher, named iTeacher, who is teaching from home via a computer; Cookie helps Gordy get the school WiFi information out of Crubbs.

Ned struggles to read a real book; Moze starts a book club, whose members just want to gossip, and Cookie attempts to get into the club too.

A new popularity list is posted – Missy "helps" Ned become popular so that he can ask Suzie out; Moze is in the top 10, but she does not like being popular; Cookie tries to find the list maker so that he can be made more popular.

Ned, Moze and Cookie must make it to the bus on time; Suzie moves into Ned's locker, which messes with his dismissal routine; Moze and all the other girls are forced to wait to use the bathroom; Cookie accidentally kisses Evelyn Kwong and must avoid her.

The kids set up a Halloween party at Polk, and Principal Pal is thought to be dead after he enters the haunted hall.

Ned draws an abstract piece of art, which everyone else sees as a 'naked lady', leading to a cause célèbre; Moze tries photography and creates photos of other people's personal moments; Cookie gets 6th graders to make him keybowls.

Ned becomes project partners with Moze, who becomes jealous when he begins spending too much time with Suzie; Cookie is stuck with Evelyn Kwong as a social studies partner.

Ned tries to get to school early so he can get rid of a note he wrote to Suzie that says "I love you", but the bus driver is distressed over his own recent break-up; Moze tries to get a seat next to Faymen on the bus; Cookie must try to get to school after he misses the bus, or rather, the bus misses him.

Ned becomes "The Revenger" by helping students get revenge on people for other students; Moze deals with a new player on the volleyball team that mysteriously seems bent on revenge; Cookie tries to get revenge on Evelyn Kwong for tricking him on what to study for a pop quiz.

Ned volunteers at a nursing home and shows an old lady around Polk; Moze volunteers to clean up the school back entrance with the help of Loomer, Crony and Buzz; Cookie competes with Evelyn Kwong in the school store.

Ned becomes the hall monitor and lets people in violation get off the hook, which leads the students believing that they can get away with anything in the halls; Moze tries to use hallway time to talk to Faymen; Cookie becomes the hallway traffic reporter.

Ned becomes depressed as a consequence of Suzie's departure from Polk, and quits doing the Guide, so the boys try to cheer him up; Moze teaches the girls how to interact with boys.

Ned tries to talk with Suzie on their cell phones, but he runs into difficulties; Moze must figure out how to use her new, complicated cell phone; Cookie tries to win a convertible by calling into the radio.

Ned's disorganization causes his life to fall apart; Moze and Cookie get the students organized in order to put their favorite snack back in the vending machines after Crubbs replaces it with something he wants.

Ned and Cookie must raise money in different ways after they eat all of the chocolate they were supposed to sell for school fundraising; Moze cannot seem to sell her last chocolate bar.

Ned is forced by Moze to make friends with Faymen; Moze tries to make a new girl friend; Cookie befriends the Weasel, much to Gordy's disapproval.

The trio need to raise money for a music festival; Ned borrows money from Missy that he must work off to pay her back; Moze gets her money from hard work; Cookie tries to get money from entertainment.

The school has spring fever, but Crubbs has the building on lockdown; Ned must find a way outside and avoid the affections of Missy, who is hellbent on kissing him; Moze still feels nothing when she kisses Faymen; Cookie must deal with Lisa Zemo after her allergies kick in and she reverts to being unattractive.

Ned suffers from an embarrassing itch; Moze tries to clean up the resuscitation dummy, but she throws it out the window and buries it, and Cookie thinks that it was Faymen; Cookie also is suffering from mood swings.

Ned studies for 3 tests on the same day with the help of the school's geeks and becomes a geek himself in the process; Moze takes a test to see if Ned or Faymen is right for her and Faymen gets all perfect scores and Ned as a geek gets all zeroes; Cookie gives Evelyn Kwong a "test" to prove that they are incompatible and she decides to date Seth instead.

The school goes on a field trip to a museum, including Ned, Moze and Cookie, even after they have been banned from the field trip by Vice-Principal Crubbs for trying to forge a permission slip for Cookie. Ned tries to spend time with Suzie while avoiding Crubbs; Moze tries to see the wild boy, and Loomer tries to spend time with her. Cookie becomes "the Steel Eagle" to impress Lisa Zemo. Eventually, all 3 are chased by Crubbs, museum security guards, and samurai actors. Ned then becomes the museum's titular Wild Boy and must choose between Suzie and Moze. He chooses Moze, they kiss, and become boyfriend and girlfriend, while Suzie decides to date Loomer again. Cookie learns of a plan to steal the museum's Wild Boy painting, so the trio gain the attention of the security guards and catch the thieves. Cookie wins a date with Lisa. Meanwhile, back at the school, Gordy tries to catch the weasel with the help of the other teachers, whose items have been destroyed by the weasel. They eventually demolish the entire school to catch the weasel, only to find out that it has given birth.